Broken

On the day when both of us pledge " I do" I belong to yours and you belong to mine;
I gave u my soul cause I believe u r the one;
I gave u my love cause I believe u would appreciate it;
I gave u myself cause I believe u would take good care of;
Time passed by, years by years, months by months and days by days,
God sent the best ever gift to us- our children.
From 2 of us it became 3 of us and later the 4 of us..
We walked through the up and down of our lives together,
Before I realized suddenly you and me are full of gray hairs,
Our home that used to have children’s laughter and cries now become a total silence home.Children leading their own life and no longer need yours or mine guidance;

I thought our marriage would be last till the ends of my last or yours last breath;
But u ended up for her before my last breath.
I thought u would hold tight the promises that you pledge on our wedding day;
But u choose to break all the promises for her.
I thought our family is the most special thing that we shared together;
But you choose to betray the family for her
I thought my sacrifice towards the family always being appreciated;
But you choose forgot how I got all my backache and wrinkles from.

When was the last time you look into my eyes?
What you looking now only the bright shine eyes rather than my dull eyes
When was the last time you hold my hand?
What you holding now is her soft and gentle hand rather than my rough hand
When was the last time you ever bring me out for dinner?
What you would bring together with you is the gorgeous one rather than an old me who cant enjoy much.

*A thought from an incident happen to my close friend's parent.

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Beauty

Beauty.. a term that seems so distance so unfamiliar for me. Beauty seems like a parallel path for me where we always stay parallel and never able to cross the path. I will both stand aside or opposite looking at beauty and never ever relate myself as beauty.

Always I wonder how is it be to be a beauty? Always I said to myself how nice if I am as pretty as those girls. How nice if I just have half of them. How nice this and how nice that…I aint not sure whether this is what we called jealous or the lack of confidence who keep pushing myself away from looking into myself.

People, books, friends, people around you keep saying Internal beauty last longer than external beauty. But how many of them do really look into it? I doubt. Once upon a time I was too ignorance to believe in internal beauty but reality did slap me hard enough to wake me up. Hurtful personal experienced do make me realized the theory for external beauty are much more important than internal beauty.

I do try not to be pessimistic but reality is cruel. If you don’t have external beauty no matter how pretty your internal beauty is chances for people to discover your internal beauty are much lower. Sad to say that sometimes people just don’t even give you a chance just to know a little about you. Perhaps external beauty is the key to internal beauty. You don’t have the key you don’t have the chance to access in.

Open your eyes, feel with your heart, you will see more beauty things in someone if she/he is not pretty. Give them a chance and give yourself a chance so you don’t miss someone wonderful.

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Welcome to my magic box

Finally and finally here I am with the 1st blog of mine.

Been thinking numerous time to have my own space where I'm able to bullshit wthout considering who I am or what I am but it always ended up with tons of excuses that some of it do sounds reasonable but some dont.

Perhaps a very bored night do kick something out of me to finally came up something. (At least a new thing that I have just started for my new year another resolution) I know it do sounds a bit late..and its coming to June. Who cares? This is mine!!

So here I am. Good Luck to you Souless!

Sit tight and be ready for the journey..

Cheeers for the little magic box of mine.



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